A Day of Hiccups
by SilverwingsJP
Summary: James Potter just can’t get rid of his hiccups! What will he and his fellow Marauders do to make those dreadful things go away?


The four Marauders sat at the Gryffindor table, all eating, or rather hounding down their breakfasts. Remus Lupin, the only one eating with certain decency, flipped through the _Daily Prophet_. Peter Pettigrew was absently stirring his porridge with his spoon, numerous times dropping it into the goop, having to fish it out with his fingers. Sirius Black, meanwhile, was working on getting every scrap and crumb of food off of his plate. James Potter was doing a little bit of each, trying to master the art of reading the paper while getting his food into his mouth rather than on his lap.

"Weather would be nice for flying today," Sirius commented, licking his fingers free of any crumbs. Remus sent him a disgusted look. "Too bad we have classes…"

"Well, Padfoot, in a few years we'll be out of Hogwarts," Remus said, crisply folding his paper and setting it down beside his cup of tea.

The four boys then returned back to their comfortable silence. Though suddenly a little _hic_ interrupted them.

James grumbled.

"Count to ten, mate," said Remus, glancing over the rim of his glass. "That's what my mum always said to do."

"Yeah I-_hic_- know." James mumbled yet again as the annoying feeling jumped his chest. He sucked in quite a lot of air, holding his breath until the designated number. "They should be gone-_hic-_aw man!"

Sirius laughed into his pumpkin juice, though it came out garbled through the liquid.

James sent him a glare. "Shut up, Padfoot…it's not funny." He rubbed his chest. "It hurts," he whined.

"They'll go away," Remus said. The Marauders all grabbed their books, getting up and walking to Transfiguration.

James settled himself down next to Peter, hiccupping all the way.

"Geez, Prongs," Peter said, turning and looking at him.

James sent a death glare towards Peter. "They'll go away," he repeated Remus' prior statement. "They have to…"

Boy, was he wrong. While the class was diligently working on _quiet_ work in books, James' hiccups kept resounding out through the room. McGonagall had glanced up from her papers numerous times, as did the rest of the class.

"Mr. Potter, if you do so wish to hiccup the rest of class, please remove yourself," she said tersely.

James' mouth fell open. "But…but Professor McGonagall! I can't-_hic_- help it!"

McGonagall merely pointed towards the door. James, muttering darkly, slid his books off the desk into his awaiting arms. He stomped angrily out of the room.

"Stupid hiccups," James mumbled, folding his arms. He slid down the wall next to the door. He sighed, hiccupping after. "Ouch! Bloody hell!"

James held his breath again for ten seconds. Nothing happened except for another hiccup.

"Lovely," James said, frowning. "I'll never get rid of them at this-_hic-_rate."

People have had hiccups before. How come he had to get sent out of the classroom for his?

"She probably thought I wanted to get out of class," James finally came to his conclusion. "Transfiguration is much better than-_hic_- this."

Sirius, Remus, and Peter met James outside the door and they headed for Divination.

"I just can't get rid of them, guys!" James said exasperatedly.

"Have you tried holding your breath again?" Remus asked, looking at his friend.

James nodded. "Yeah!"

Sirius smirked evilly. "Don't worry, Prongsie. I have the _perfect_ plan to get rid of your hiccups…"

Later the day, right before lunch, James headed to the bathroom, his hiccups still not gone. As he creaked the door open, he was met with something quite unexpected.

"BOO!" Sirius jumped out from behind the door, making a scary face.

James screamed, punching Sirius in the nose out of reflex. "HOLY CRAP!"

"Ow, Prongs, what gives!?" Sirius said, nursing his nose. He wiggled it a few times.

"Sorry," James said, breathing out, relieved it was Sirius. "What the hell did you do that for?"

"You know the old wives tale?" Remus asked, rounding the corner. "Yeah, your friend thought that it would work to scare you."

James then hiccupped.

Remus sent Sirius a grin. "Ha, Padfoot! I _told_ you that wouldn't work! It's not scientifically proven!"

Sirius mimicked Remus through his whole explanation. "Geez, Moony. Why does it have to be scientific to be true? And you don't know. American scientists could've proven scaring people makes hiccups go away."

Remus rolled his eyes, making an indigent nose. "Hardly believable…"

Sirius, childishly, stuck out his tongue and folded his arms.

"You'll just have to let them go away naturally," Remus said as they sat down for lunch. "Unless you're like Padfoot and Wormtail, believing in those make believe stories." He waved off 'make believe stories', looking back down at his food.

"Some of them work!" Peter squeaked. "When I had hiccups as a child, my mum would make me have a spoonful of sugar! Made them go away like that!" He snapped his fingers together.

Sirius began humming 'A Spoonful of Sugar' to himself.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Wormtail, eating pure sugar does not make hiccups go away. If anything it will give you cavities."

"Why do you have to be such a know-it-all?" Sirius asked, stopping his humming to look at his friend.

"I don't try to be a know-it-all," said Remus coolly, folding his arms. "It just happens."

"That has got to be the most arrogant thing you've ever-_hic_- said," James said in shock.

Remus shrugged carelessly. "That's what happens when I hang around people like you guys…"

"Love you too, Moony," James, Sirius, and Peter muttered, narrowing their eyes on Remus.

Potions, though, had been by far the worst class of the day. James had hiccupped so loudly, causing himself to jump, he sent the wrong ingredients flying into Remus and his potion. Remus and James, not going under the desk quick enough, go splattered with orange goo.

"Nice work, Prongs," Remus said, spitting orange goo off his lips as he spoke. He wiped it from his eyes, shaking with suppressed anger and embarrassment. The entire class was looking at the orange covered teens.

"I'm-_hic_-sorry," James mumbled, though made a face as the goo flew into his mouth. "AH! I'M POISONED!" He spit it out onto the floor, wiping his tongue off with his shirt.

By the end of the day, James' hiccups had not yet left. He tried five glasses of water, only causing him to run to the bathroom ever hour. He had tried the sugar, resulting in his choking on said sugar and Remus to heavily thump him on the back. Sirius had attempted to scare James yet again. Though, all in all, they each and every one resulted in nothing.

James tiredly flopped himself back onto the couch, his hand covering his eyes. "I don't think I can-_hic_- do it anymore," he groaned.

"Maybe you should just go to Madam Pomfrey," Remus said, which he had thought the whole time. "She'll find a way."

"You don't go to the hospital for _hiccups_, Moony," Sirius said.

"Why not?" Remus asked. "If James has had them all day, surely something isn't right…"

James' face paled. "W-what?"

Sirius made a disbelieving noise deep in his throat. "Psh. Yeah right! Jamesie is fine! Oh, and I talked to Evans," he grinned, "she said that the ten second rule really isn't a proven fact either, Mr. Smarty."

Remus groaned, throwing his hands up in the air. "Why must you bring that up again?"

Sirius and Remus continued to argue while James lie there, hiccupping. After a bit, though, he had had enough, as any sane person would.

"GUYS! ENOUGH!" James shouted, standing up abruptly.

Remus and Sirius both simultaneously turned to their best mate.

"Geez, mate. No need to get testy," Sirius said, staring at James.

The three sat staring at each other, Peter just sitting in the armchair, watching the staring contest unfolding.

"Hey," Sirius said suddenly, "where did your hiccups go?"

A hic resounded throughout the common room. They all turned to the source of the noise. Remus sat, arms folded, a glare on his face. He hiccupped loudly.

"Aha!" Sirius said with his loud, bark-like laugh. "So that's where the hiccups went!"

Remus shook his head, blowing out of his mouth to keep bad language from coming out. "Careful, Padfoot, or I will give them to you next. You can't snog girls with hiccups…"

Sirius gasped. "You are so cruel!"

Though the only one listening was Peter, for James had trudged up the stairs and gone to sleep. Hiccupping all day is quite tiresome!

THE END

**A/N- I just thought of this idea after I had some trouble getting rid of my hiccups, also I've been writing about everyone EXCEPT James, who is my favorite, so I had to have at least one story with him. Hope you all like it! Review please!**


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